Friday, February 20, 2015

You Know it's Cold When....

Given the weather, I felt the need to vent in a safe warm place, hence prepare yourself for a rant against the cold.  

10) You know it's cold when...the temperature is not so high that it would be allowed into a PG-13 movie.   I'd like the air to at least be able to be carded, if not collecting social security.  

9) Given the choice between bringing up the trash cans --an easy one shot task twice a week, and doing the dinner dishes every night, there is a mad fight to take on K.P.

8) You notice that your car doesn't have heated seats.  

7) There is a deer living next to your van to avoid the wind.  

6) None of these are made up.  

5) Children ask for hot chocolate not because they want to drink it, but because they want to warm their hands while they still are wearing gloves.

4) Threats about driving until you find some place warm go so far as to google the closest place with 70 degree weather. (Hint: Brownsville is looking pretty good).  

3) You serve oatmeal. Several of the kids hate oatmeal.  No one complains because it's warm.

2) The stupid rallying cry of Olaf the snowman in Frozen, "Let's go save summer." sounds reasonable.

1) Describing how cold it is involves negative integers and no small amount of suppressed expletives.

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